Most conversations begin with a hello then a how are you doing text. I feel like the answer to the second part is always I am good you? ……and the conversations continue. I usually take some time to assess my current position and how it affects various aspects of my life. When I have an issue, I write it in my journal and let it all out. It has been two months post campus and I am breaking down my thoughts in certain areas in my life.
Physically: Confession time. I am obsessed with the number on the weighing scale. Of course, some people will be like what do you mean, but yes that is the case. When I was in campus my grandma would always complain about how I got smaller every time I went to Eldoret, but she understood that it was because of the pressure. She just said I would gain weight once I am done with school and have no stress. Guess what!!!!! I am gaining exponentially (haha). It is kind of disturbing me especially now that I have started noticing it. I am not doing anything about it yet.
Intellectually: I know I finished school but learning never stops. Apart from reading novels, I have been trying to improve my skills in design drawing and also reading journals in my field of study. The hardest thing has been unlearning a few things to relearn others. There are so many things that were crammed to pass exams only to realize that you actually need to understand before applying the knowledge.
Emotionally: There will always be good and bad days. I am not an open person even though I share a lot on this website. I am trying to improve my communication, especially in my relationships. I tend to keep things to myself and never really speak out and so that is one thing I am trying to change.
Spiritually: I have been reading the book of Job. He was a faithful servant and God gave the devil permission to test him. He was a man who had everything but in a split second lost it all. As much as everyone had an opinion about his situation he remained faithful. I am learning that the God who gives can also take away.
Mentally: When you have a lot of time on your hands you tend to think about anything and everything. I have been reading the book “Change Your Thinking” by Brian Tracy. l am learning that what you feed your mind and how you treat yourself influences everything else. Like I said in a previous post, I decided to take a break after school because the final semester had taken a toll on me. I was so excited I was going out, meeting people etc. Then at some point, I started doubting myself. I could ask myself, Am I doing the right thing? Should I be in an office somewhere? Am I wasting time?
You can imagine what started happening. I wasn’t enjoying the break anymore. I started feeling like I should get a job ASAP. It disturbed me for a while and I looked back and remembered why I wanted the break. I didn’t just want to get a job because I am supposed to do that, I wasn’t ready to give 30% of myself instead of 100% just because that is the life cycle. I appreciate the skills I am learning and that I am taking the time to invest in myself and I am back on track with the initial plan I had.
That is my life update. I was so scared of sharing this, I had written it in one of my notebooks but was never sure if it would ever be a post but I am glad I am sharing.
The girl with the red lipstick.