It is easy to identify toxic people in our lives but hard to acknowledge the toxic traits that we have. So here is a list of mine. I am working on them to be a better person.
- Bottling up emotions. I never say how I feel when an incident occurs. I usually just brush it off, say everything is fine and hence it becomes a ticking time bomb. This really affected my relationship and I learnt to just come out and say that I am mad because of one two three, sit down, talk about it, find a solution and move on.
- My first instinct is to see the worst in people. I used to believe people always have ill intentions but that has changed during the last three months. I have put myself out there, met new people and realized it is just about having a connection.
- Asking for help. I always want to try to do as much as I can before I ask for help. However, sometimes I just shut down and wallow when I could easily just call a few people and get some help and support. I am realizing that some struggle is self-inflicted and it is ok to ask for help.
- Emotional distancing. I don’t think I have ever allowed myself to be emotionally vulnerable around people. I think that is why when people start talking about feelings I just run. This is a bad thing because human connections are made because of emotions. My sister once asked me if I can tell someone ‘I love you’ even she doesn’t have faith in me. My fear is that people can take advantage of it so I tend to build walls. Again this has affected my relationships but it is a work in progress.
It is really hard to acknowledge my weakness but it is also the first step to making a change. The more aware you are the more effort you put to become better.
Do you know your toxic traits? Let me know in the comment section.